Debt... It's A Bitch!

Thursday, December 1, 2011

Christmas Thoughts 2011

Was the Grinch as much of an ass hole after Christmas, as he was before?

Besides a shitty Ben Affleck movie, what exactly are 'reindeer games'?

If Frosty is a masochist, does he just blow dry himself?

Do you think Charlie Brown ever awoke, and asked himself, "What the f*ck was I thinking, picking that tree?"

Is Santa eating all those cookies because he's smoking weed in the sleigh?

Does Santa make 'sack' jokes? ie... Hands off my sack!

Aren't elves just short Vulcans?

Did the Little Drummer Boy ever think about starting a one-man-band?

Whats up with everyone still wearing robes? (Surely the Winter Warlock is itchin to get in a pair of Sketchers and Levi's.)

Do the polar bears ever drink anything besides Coke? Seriously, and you wonder why these bastards are going extinct, their teeth are rotting out.

How does Santa feel about Tim Allen's portrayal in the revealing biographical film trilogy?

Does Yukon Cornelius win every pissing contest he's ever been in?

Why does the Island of Misfit Toys look strangely like the Neverland Ranch?

What does Mrs. Claus think about Hillary Clinton's pant suits?

Does the Abominable Snowman (Bumble) ever wake up on the right side of the bed and grumble, 'You know what... today is my day! I'm a winner!'?

Will Rudolph ever hit puberty?

What are the elves thoughts on an Occupy North Pole, Hannukah, the Kardashian wedding and Labor relations?

Did Santa read Rumsfeld's autobiography?

Are igloos so 1990's?

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