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Monday, September 12, 2011

Unforgettable Smells of New York City

They say that smells invoke the strongest memories. My Mimi (because I was a tard and couldn't say grandmother) will forever be associated with moth balls. Freshly cut grass takes me back to my freshmen football days. Sulfur and rotten eggs transports me immediately to Iraq. My arsenal of scents can take me from an ''in the moment" mentality to waxing old posterity. Having lived in New York City (off and on) for the last two years I realized this town goes big and doesn't go home. So many different sites and sounds, its a feast for the senses. Least of all.... some awesome sniffs.

1. The Bedford and Lorimer Stops on the L Train - AKA: The Hipster Quadrant - Seriously, Fuck this place. Hipsters wreak of sweat, hemp, bong resin, and organic products. Their non-conformist mentality to bathing, leaves these two stops as a painful reminder that they protest wars by protesting soap. I don't get the link either. If these grovelling revolutionaries have taught us anything, its that their evolution from Emo to 'hippy-light' is a high cost for those of us who value Old Spice over Ode de Testicle Sweat.

2. Hot Dog Carts - Whether at CitiField or roaming the roads of Tribeca, hot dogs are still the penultimate 'street meat'. Those boiling beauties smothered in ketchup and mustard leave an aroma for America. New York just has the knack of letting these vendors or culinary warriors keep it real on the street corner. The victorious vendors of hot dogs have long contributed to the overall epic fabric of this city.

3. South Street Sea Port - Oh the sea myst, the fresh harbor wind, and the scent of fish on the grill. What? Yeah, it's kind of fun. It's a charming little area to bring a girl, grab a beer and enjoy the Atlantic vibe. Be sure to wear a yellow slicker to exude your inner Gordon's fisherman. Ahhh, makes me want to live in an Alaskan fishing community.

4. Rockefellar Center at Christmas - Probably the greatest time of year to spend in NYC. The holidays have a certain bliss in the air unequalled by any other place on earth. The enchantment of the tree pine smell, the crisp chill of the winter evening, hot chocolate toasting up your mittens, and the smell of cookies lingering in the air. Not too mention some out of town fatass crop dusting because he cant find a bathroom. Seriously, all the bathrooms in the city close down after 7pm. I still don't get it.

5. Piss - Ahhh summertime. To caveat the last entry I have to say that a muggy day enhances this putrid aroma unlike anything a nostril could fathom. Homeless people love to make their mark with giant yellow puddles near their cardboard estates. For that matter so do dogs, college co-eds, and pretty much anyone who needs to release the flood gates.

6. Flushing - I'm not discussing toilet actions (tho one could confuse the two), I'm talking about the Asian/Irish neighborhood in Queens. Korean and Chinese malls dominate the streets but the Mics keep a presence with their pubs and potatoes. Its a smell unlike any other with Chinese food, Guinness and wont-tons keeping your head on a swivel.

7. Carbon Monoxide - They say "NYC traffic isn't a nightmare... nightmares are shorter." It's true.

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