I often have those coupling dreams where you have sporadic characters that span across spectrum of influence, and in the midst of such an illusion, you realize not only the coincidence of it all, but why this group? Why these people? Despite Family Feud being a sometimes guilty pleasure of mine, I feel as if my teams contain some sort of allegorical meaning. Maybe not. Maybe I secretly just want to sit down and have a good old spout with some of these folks. I wholeheartedly know that this is a weird entry. So I've assembled three lists that encompass what is to be my living team, my dead team, and my imaginary team. These squads will be explained to enhance my sense of rational when it comes not only to Final Feud, but the traits and characteristics they bring to the table. I'll have fat people (yes, they re human too), I'll have the gorgeous, the ugly, the obnoxious, and the pale. So ladies and gentlemen, entertain me and read what is to become a mere fantasy regarding my conscious decision to bring forth so much talent and well... fame. Survey Says...
THE LIVING TEAM
Glenn Beck - How can you ignore a man who's tapped into the cultural lexicon being loved and loathed all at the same time. We'll hang out after for some TEA.
Denise Richards - I just want to see if her, you know... are.... real. I'M TALKING ABOUT HER ACTING TALENTS.
The Dali Lama - He would put everyone at peace, and psych out our opponent with divine karma
Sam Elliott - This dude exudes badass. You stare at him and you feel your soul go to leather and gravel. I think short of jumping on a grenade, theres no way to out-tough this man. I'd throw Eastwood on here, but... I don't think he's got the chops for a brawl these days.
Margaret Thatcher - This sexy baroness has always drawn me to the fascination of women in power. This lady exudes class and elegance.
THE DEAD TEAM
John Candy - I know I'm actor heavy ON THESE LISTS, but I've loved this guy since I was a kid. I'm watching Uncle Buck, haha classic.
George Washington - He'd speak so silently that It'd be difficult to hear, but the man exudes all that is American.
Pocahontas - I'd see if she was as hot as I think she was. Then Id ask her to give me the scoop on the lost colony of Roanoke. Afterwards we'd hunt down some beaver pelts... if shes hot.
Grace Kelly - So beautiful... would serve as back up eye-candy if Pocahontas looked like a fetus face. But Grace Kelly may just be the most beautiful woman ever and the brains to boot.
John the Baptist - You need that guy that's crazy enough to freak opponents out by eating weird shit. I mean seriously, who wouldn't be intimidated by a man with a squirrelley beard who pulls out a locust and goes to town.
THE FANTASY TEAM
The Predator - I'm going with this guy for a strong sense of intergalactic knowledge and charming complexion.
Gandalf the Grey - Ive never smoked weed, but if I did...
Captain Kirk - OK, I'm letting my nerd colors fly, but seriously, this is really just William Shatner playing himself in space. A narcissistic man who runs around chasing tail and creatures that look fake.
Red (from The Shawshank Redemption) - His vocal chords... its like, milk and cookies. I mean who wouldn't want to just listen to "get busy living or get busy dying" all day.
Hermione - Whatever, shes 19... Its cool.
TAKE THAT RICHARD KARN, OR LOUIE ANDERSON, OR WHOEVERS HOSTING THE SHOW THESE DAYS!
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