The term bromance has been floating out there like Balloon Boy for the last year or two and we've adapted it into our language much like other new words as sexting, googling, and tramp stamp. Its funny actually to hear your parents use some of these words because frankly; I thought our generation owned them. When my dad said tramp stamp I literally LOL'd (a hah, another addition to our ever growing dictionary). However, bromance is a portmanteau, a combination of the words "brother" and "romance", with innocent and comical ramifications,which lends to its charm. Why? It's something nearly all guys are guilty of, investing time and ridiculous acts of stupidness with your friends. I'm not going into the psychology of being a man-boy in modern-day America, but my goal for this entry is to give an outlook on familiar gestures, that me and my boyz grant each other. Does it get gay? Borderline... Does it get stupid? Absolutely. Will it gross a girl out? I would be worried if it didn't.
1. The Ass-Slap: Used in times of heightened competition. Flattened hand, quick slap means an easy, yet important victory. The more of a cuppage of the hand, the more stunning and hard-fought a victory. Be weary of over use, and never, never hug during this.
2. The High Five or Fistbump: Again a competitive use, or the acquiring of a great feat! Depending on its use, you could've made out with a hot chick, shot a deer, won an award, had a kid, or defended your title in the Tether ball championship. High fives are familiar territory and something best used with people who are old as fucking Don Knotts. Fistbumps are for baby-boomers.
3. The Punch in the Arm: This is for your bros who you make fun of. This is the one that crosses friendship barriers between those who reside in different social settings. Its like a skater being friends with a hick, or a metro sexual being friends with a meat head. The punch i the arm reminds you that yeah sometimes you wanna just hit your other friend for being different, but hell... you'd have their back in a bar fight any day.
4. Wrestling or Brawling: Birthed from boredom and an over abundance of testosterone in the room. Keep your bravado in check and beware of the dude pitching a tent, this can get real gay, real quick. If its two friends who need to iron out some anger, just let it happen and officiate in an unbiased way. If we learned anything from "The Quiet Man" its that sometimes fighting is necessary because if you let angst boil, its gonna spill out to a hellacious result eventually.
5. The Ass-tronaut: Sheer gayness. More of a prank than anything. When your fellow Bro Montana hovers with a bare ass over your head then wakes you up and farts in your face. This generally warrants an ass punch or a kung-fu chop to the groin, and then get Pelé on his ass with some soccer kicks.
6. The Ball Tap: This is for those who warrant swift retribution. This is something you do when a brother leaves you hanging or blatantly defies a plea for help. Use sparingly.
7. The Trout: Something most are unfamiliar with. Its when you take a flat palm and slap the inner thighs of your friend in a rapid motion to assimilate a trout tail slapping your femoral region. Its funny, and yet it leaves most people in either shock or a squirming unfamiliar feeling. Reactions are hysterical for first timers. Beware of overusing on seasoned trout victims. If done for long periods of time, they develop a-thousand yard stare and talk about their legs as weathered stumps.
A LITTLE HISTORY
Editor Dave Carnie coined the term in the skateboard magazine Big Brother in the 1990s to refer specifically to the sort of relationships that develop between skaters who spent a great deal of time together.
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