Sore Loser

Cold sores. They suck, plain and simple. Regardless of whether people look at you like you just made out with a toilet seat, a cold sore already thrusts you into the same league of extraordinary gentlemen as Tommy Lee, Mick Jagger, and all those other hapless heathens of rock and roll. Recent links of cold sores to alzheimers doesn't exactly scream a peachy-keen outlook either on the condition. So what is a brother to do beside amp up on beta caradine, healing cream, and crossword puzzles? Well... theres not much. One time on a date I used an excuse that I had eaten a hot pizza bagel, whom most of you could testify can be blazing hot (if made correctly). Obviously the girl saw past my web of deceit, and looked for reasonable ways to make an exodus. I think her official reason was that she "moonlit as a superhero". So while some girls look at you for that brief 10 day period as a leper, here are a few tips to avoid the boat to Molokai. Grow a beard. Smoke and mirrors folks. A little rugged scruff can cover the face like a jungle canopy. The sore won't be able to hide like Charlie did in NAM, but its a start. Constantly reverse pucker. A constant bitter beer face will show people youre not afraid to guzzle brews long after the expiration date, and it will completely cover the sporadic nuisance on yo face. Lastly, just let it go. Sometimes the best bet is to say, eh to hell with it.