Was the Grinch as much of an ass hole after Christmas, as he was before?
Besides a shitty Ben Affleck movie, what exactly are 'reindeer games'?
If Frosty is a masochist, does he just blow dry himself?
Do you think Charlie Brown ever awoke, and asked himself, "What the f*ck was I thinking, picking that tree?"
Is Santa eating all those cookies because he's smoking weed in the sleigh?
Does Santa make 'sack' jokes? ie... Hands off my sack!
Aren't elves just short Vulcans?
Did the Little Drummer Boy ever think about starting a one-man-band?
Whats up with everyone still wearing robes? (Surely the Winter Warlock is itchin to get in a pair of Sketchers and Levi's.)
Do the polar bears ever drink anything besides Coke? Seriously, and you wonder why these bastards are going extinct, their teeth are rotting out.
How does Santa feel about Tim Allen's portrayal in the revealing biographical film trilogy?
Does Yukon Cornelius win every pissing contest he's ever been in?
Why does the Island of Misfit Toys look strangely like the Neverland Ranch?
What does Mrs. Claus think about Hillary Clinton's pant suits?
Does the Abominable Snowman (Bumble) ever wake up on the right side of the bed and grumble, 'You know what... today is my day! I'm a winner!'?
Will Rudolph ever hit puberty?
What are the elves thoughts on an Occupy North Pole, Hannukah, the Kardashian wedding and Labor relations?
Did Santa read Rumsfeld's autobiography?
Are igloos so 1990's?
Thursday, December 1, 2011
Monday, November 7, 2011
Terms of Surrender
Surrender can have a very negative connotation to it. In fact before I decided to write an entry on this subject I only ever intended the meaning to throw up the white flag and flee. Then I came across a quote by the founder of The Salvation Army, William Booth. Booth says, "The greatness of a man's power is the measure of his surrender." Booth was a devout Christian who spent his time and effort travelling and preaching through post-Enlightenment England. His members grew and their evangelistic devotion found them beaten, bruised and in some instances killed. Booth journeyed over 5 million miles and preached over 60,000 sermons in his 83 years. The man was tough. But the Salvation Army earned its name for the aggressive manner in which they preached the gospel of Jesus Christ. Booth, ever the zealot always believed soul-winning to be his ministry's greatest mission. That soul-winning for his organization, by contrast means surrender to a life lived for Christ. So is this surrender really servitude?
On the last day of the Civil War in Appomattox Court House, an exhausted Robert E. Lee, filled with a mixture of sadness and grief rode his horse to meet with General Grant to give up his saber in defeat. Lee's hopes lay in leniency and food for his starving army. Grant, being miles away sent a courier to deliver a letter noting the time of surrender, signed, ''Very respectfully, your obedient servant, U S Grant..." During their meeting, the terms of surrender were short. Lee did not have to give up his saber, and all his men had to do, was lay down their arms and return home. The last term was for the officers from both sides, many being long lost friends and family to meet and share stories of posterity. It was the first step in renewing old friendships and repairing a nation at war for the last five years.
Grant the victor reveals his intention of servitude to a man who once lambasted him in Mexico for looking "un-soldierly". Lee, back straight, rode his horse to and from the meeting with the rigidness and discipline a great warrior possesses. His discipline is unmatched. Even in surrender, there is pride. What these men demonstrate is the brick and mortar of relationships. The surrender er and the servant. They are a mutual dance in maintaining harmony. George Washington did this by leaving after his 2ND term of the Presidency. Puyi was the Last Emperor of the Qing Dynasty who relinquished power and went on to live the life of a simple Chines gardener.
Christ shows this as he washed his disciples feet at the last supper. He would in a few hours give himself to the Romans in surrender. That surrender pales in comparison to the one he makes to his Father. Christ knew full well what tasks lay ahead and the dismal cruelty that he'd be subjected to. He knew that the terms of surrender meant the salvation of mankind. Only through that surrender was his sacrifice sealed and our sins payed for in full. I feel this gets to the marrow of Booth's quote. What we give away, and how we give it away will determine how people will remember us... and will cement our legacy. Maybe their will be a white flag over my headstone. One can only hope.
On the last day of the Civil War in Appomattox Court House, an exhausted Robert E. Lee, filled with a mixture of sadness and grief rode his horse to meet with General Grant to give up his saber in defeat. Lee's hopes lay in leniency and food for his starving army. Grant, being miles away sent a courier to deliver a letter noting the time of surrender, signed, ''Very respectfully, your obedient servant, U S Grant..." During their meeting, the terms of surrender were short. Lee did not have to give up his saber, and all his men had to do, was lay down their arms and return home. The last term was for the officers from both sides, many being long lost friends and family to meet and share stories of posterity. It was the first step in renewing old friendships and repairing a nation at war for the last five years.
Grant the victor reveals his intention of servitude to a man who once lambasted him in Mexico for looking "un-soldierly". Lee, back straight, rode his horse to and from the meeting with the rigidness and discipline a great warrior possesses. His discipline is unmatched. Even in surrender, there is pride. What these men demonstrate is the brick and mortar of relationships. The surrender er and the servant. They are a mutual dance in maintaining harmony. George Washington did this by leaving after his 2ND term of the Presidency. Puyi was the Last Emperor of the Qing Dynasty who relinquished power and went on to live the life of a simple Chines gardener.
Christ shows this as he washed his disciples feet at the last supper. He would in a few hours give himself to the Romans in surrender. That surrender pales in comparison to the one he makes to his Father. Christ knew full well what tasks lay ahead and the dismal cruelty that he'd be subjected to. He knew that the terms of surrender meant the salvation of mankind. Only through that surrender was his sacrifice sealed and our sins payed for in full. I feel this gets to the marrow of Booth's quote. What we give away, and how we give it away will determine how people will remember us... and will cement our legacy. Maybe their will be a white flag over my headstone. One can only hope.
Monday, September 12, 2011
Unforgettable Smells of New York City
They say that smells invoke the strongest memories. My Mimi (because I was a tard and couldn't say grandmother) will forever be associated with moth balls. Freshly cut grass takes me back to my freshmen football days. Sulfur and rotten eggs transports me immediately to Iraq. My arsenal of scents can take me from an ''in the moment" mentality to waxing old posterity. Having lived in New York City (off and on) for the last two years I realized this town goes big and doesn't go home. So many different sites and sounds, its a feast for the senses. Least of all.... some awesome sniffs.
1. The Bedford and Lorimer Stops on the L Train - AKA: The Hipster Quadrant - Seriously, Fuck this place. Hipsters wreak of sweat, hemp, bong resin, and organic products. Their non-conformist mentality to bathing, leaves these two stops as a painful reminder that they protest wars by protesting soap. I don't get the link either. If these grovelling revolutionaries have taught us anything, its that their evolution from Emo to 'hippy-light' is a high cost for those of us who value Old Spice over Ode de Testicle Sweat.
2. Hot Dog Carts - Whether at CitiField or roaming the roads of Tribeca, hot dogs are still the penultimate 'street meat'. Those boiling beauties smothered in ketchup and mustard leave an aroma for America. New York just has the knack of letting these vendors or culinary warriors keep it real on the street corner. The victorious vendors of hot dogs have long contributed to the overall epic fabric of this city.
3. South Street Sea Port - Oh the sea myst, the fresh harbor wind, and the scent of fish on the grill. What? Yeah, it's kind of fun. It's a charming little area to bring a girl, grab a beer and enjoy the Atlantic vibe. Be sure to wear a yellow slicker to exude your inner Gordon's fisherman. Ahhh, makes me want to live in an Alaskan fishing community.
4. Rockefellar Center at Christmas - Probably the greatest time of year to spend in NYC. The holidays have a certain bliss in the air unequalled by any other place on earth. The enchantment of the tree pine smell, the crisp chill of the winter evening, hot chocolate toasting up your mittens, and the smell of cookies lingering in the air. Not too mention some out of town fatass crop dusting because he cant find a bathroom. Seriously, all the bathrooms in the city close down after 7pm. I still don't get it.
5. Piss - Ahhh summertime. To caveat the last entry I have to say that a muggy day enhances this putrid aroma unlike anything a nostril could fathom. Homeless people love to make their mark with giant yellow puddles near their cardboard estates. For that matter so do dogs, college co-eds, and pretty much anyone who needs to release the flood gates.
6. Flushing - I'm not discussing toilet actions (tho one could confuse the two), I'm talking about the Asian/Irish neighborhood in Queens. Korean and Chinese malls dominate the streets but the Mics keep a presence with their pubs and potatoes. Its a smell unlike any other with Chinese food, Guinness and wont-tons keeping your head on a swivel.
7. Carbon Monoxide - They say "NYC traffic isn't a nightmare... nightmares are shorter." It's true.
1. The Bedford and Lorimer Stops on the L Train - AKA: The Hipster Quadrant - Seriously, Fuck this place. Hipsters wreak of sweat, hemp, bong resin, and organic products. Their non-conformist mentality to bathing, leaves these two stops as a painful reminder that they protest wars by protesting soap. I don't get the link either. If these grovelling revolutionaries have taught us anything, its that their evolution from Emo to 'hippy-light' is a high cost for those of us who value Old Spice over Ode de Testicle Sweat.
2. Hot Dog Carts - Whether at CitiField or roaming the roads of Tribeca, hot dogs are still the penultimate 'street meat'. Those boiling beauties smothered in ketchup and mustard leave an aroma for America. New York just has the knack of letting these vendors or culinary warriors keep it real on the street corner. The victorious vendors of hot dogs have long contributed to the overall epic fabric of this city.
3. South Street Sea Port - Oh the sea myst, the fresh harbor wind, and the scent of fish on the grill. What? Yeah, it's kind of fun. It's a charming little area to bring a girl, grab a beer and enjoy the Atlantic vibe. Be sure to wear a yellow slicker to exude your inner Gordon's fisherman. Ahhh, makes me want to live in an Alaskan fishing community.
4. Rockefellar Center at Christmas - Probably the greatest time of year to spend in NYC. The holidays have a certain bliss in the air unequalled by any other place on earth. The enchantment of the tree pine smell, the crisp chill of the winter evening, hot chocolate toasting up your mittens, and the smell of cookies lingering in the air. Not too mention some out of town fatass crop dusting because he cant find a bathroom. Seriously, all the bathrooms in the city close down after 7pm. I still don't get it.
5. Piss - Ahhh summertime. To caveat the last entry I have to say that a muggy day enhances this putrid aroma unlike anything a nostril could fathom. Homeless people love to make their mark with giant yellow puddles near their cardboard estates. For that matter so do dogs, college co-eds, and pretty much anyone who needs to release the flood gates.
6. Flushing - I'm not discussing toilet actions (tho one could confuse the two), I'm talking about the Asian/Irish neighborhood in Queens. Korean and Chinese malls dominate the streets but the Mics keep a presence with their pubs and potatoes. Its a smell unlike any other with Chinese food, Guinness and wont-tons keeping your head on a swivel.
7. Carbon Monoxide - They say "NYC traffic isn't a nightmare... nightmares are shorter." It's true.
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
The Republican Hair Primary
Who has the best hair? It really sunk in at the last debate when I'm like, "wow... why isn't anyone balding?" Last election was a bit of a fluke. In fact, when you look back at who wins the nomination, it's usually a candidate with a scalper's wet dream. John McCain... lost. Bob Dole... lost... H.W. Bush.... lost on the basis of a wispy dew. Ford... his hair was thinning. The only real argument one could use is Eisenhower. We'll call that one a fluke. Or maybe he just had too many u-turns under the bed sheets?
Nixon, Reagan and G. Dubs all had "good to great" hair. And when you look at their competition, you can begin to develop a primitive algorithm for presidential winners. Pert Plus, good genetics or does being a supply-side thinker mean you'll live a sexier life? With former President Clinton calling Gov. Rick Perry a "handsome rascal", one can only bet what his moneys on. Despite Mitt's "Baby, I was Born to Run" look, personality may be the tipping point. But what about Mrs. Bachmann? My political crush and those Minnesota dimples....mmmmm.
Bachmann gives this sausage fest a shot of sex appeal, that Hillary Clinton left in her 20's. Intelligence, beauty, and a folksy demeanor leaving her holding her own. But with a political career of strictly legislating rather than executive experience, can we afford the possibility of another charismatic President without the ability to lead? You know... like Obama.
Legislators are career politicians. Not leaders. This includes my incredulity regarding Ron Paul, Rick Santorum, Newt Gingrich, and others. How do you lead? The failure of Obama has not been his hair. Actually, he has rather nice hair. Look.... a compliment. His failure has been his lack of experience in leading. Can anyone ever recall him getting his hands dirty? I mean real work, not metaphorical anecdotes of corruption. He has never owned a business, he has never been in a position of leadership in the military, or in government, until he was elected President. In hind site it's like electing Pauly Shore. Charissssssssmmmaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.....
I digress... So looking at the Governors and executives like Huntsman, Johnson, Cain and possibly Palin and even Christie, we look to flesh out those with true credentials. Cain is funny, and intelligent, but has no hair. Could he be the black Eisenhower? I doubt it. Huntsman looks to be the alternative Mormon in the race. For him to truly do that he needs to wear skinny jeans, a Ramones t-shirt, and use eye liner. Johnson is in the race for his bucket list. Palin and Christie are remote possibilities at this point. The former on her electability, even though she's America's hottest politician and Christie has no interest thus far.
Who will it be? My prediction is Perry. The ticket will probably have Bachmann at the bottom or even Santorum. Romney still stands a chance, but the eastern vs. western Republican primary has always been a schism in the party since the New Deal. Terms like Country Club Republican and Eastern Establishment made its way into the lexicon after a tough battle between Dewey and Robert Taft in 1948. Time will only tell, but as the great thespian Samuel L. Jackson once said, "Hold on to your butts."
Thursday, September 1, 2011
Ten Things You Didnt Know About Paul Revere
Recently, I just finished a book called "The Revolutionary Paul Revere" (no it wasn't a coloring book). The author Joel J. Miller paints the landscape of the American revolution with the pace of a great novel and the intrigue of a recently released celebrity sex-tape. Like many who seek out biographies I found myself enthralled to absorb the events our most famous messenger went through. He in fact reminded me of an early American Forrest Gump if you will. I'm not saying he walked through life aimlessly, but he had a knack for showing up at significant times. So here I write, giving you some honest nuggets of information about a man, who tends to be famous for only one thing, yet has accomplishments that run the gambit of time and influence.
1. The Boston Massacre is best represented in Mr. Revere's engraved print, The Bloody Massacre. Paul specifically added the Butcher's hall sign over the Red Coats firing to add a potency and lethality to their aura.
2. Paul had sixteen children. The dude loved sex. Who doesn't? Anyway... He also had two wives. No he wasn't a Romney, his first wife Sarah died right before the war in 1773, and he quickly remarried that year to Rachel Walker. Only one child from the marriage to Sarah outlived Paul, who died in 1818.
3. Paul who was a silversmith made numerous chalices and goblets. He even made a silver chain for a friend's pet squirrel. I know... who the hell has a pet squirrel? Crazy bastards. But the alloy-loving man became the first American to sheathe copper to the bottom of American war ships as commissioned by President Jefferson. He also used it to create the Massachusetts State House dome.
4. Paul loved to socialize, especially with is fellow Masons. He hung out with the highs and lows in society. His favorite places were Salutation Tavern and The Green Dragon. The latter being a lodge and a den for Patriot causes. One time, Mr. Revere even got into a brawl with a distant family member. Times aren't so different are they? Thats right, he was drunk and threw punches. My man! He was released on bail and found guilty of disturbing the peace.
5. Paul took his eldest son, Paul Jr. with him to the Boston Tea Party. My dad took me to a monster truck rally. Anyway, Paul Jr. also ran the day to day operations during the war when Paul Sr. was comissioned into the Massachusetts militia as a Major and then Lieutenant Colonel. Paul Sr.'s military career was short, only having seen action once in the Maine territory at Panobscot. Paul was stationed on Castle Island for most of the war, where he no doubt probably drank and ate lobstaaaaaaa.
6. Speaking of military service, Paul also served as a young Lieutenant in the French and Indian war. His riding skills and good fortune had him as a messenger who narrowly escaped Fort William Henry before it was sacked and it's inhabitants eventually massacred. See "The Last of the Mohicans" if you're wondering what the fuck I'm talking about.
7. Paul's father Apollos Rivoire was a French immigrant who came to America because he was a protestant in predominately Catholic France. The persecution the family felt left Apollos' father to board him up and send him to the new land. "Getch yer shit on, yer leavin!", he said. While here, he changed his name and raised the family up as best he could. Paul took jobs as a bell ringer in an Anglican church (think state ordered church) and snuck off to watch the controversial Rev Jonathon Mayhew preach. Apollos was no happy camper. Paul eventually returned to his family's church shortly after his father's passing.
8. The night Paul Revere rode, he was not alone. Had William Dawes made it to warn the folks in Lexington first, we'd sing his praises, but coincidentally Revere was the faster rider. E for effort Bill. Anyway. When they both make it to warn them that the Brits are on the seas to Cambridge to land and march on the powder supply, Paul and Billiam sat down for a beer at Buckman Tavern. Drinking on the job, the American way.
9. The ride back was trickier. Revere was captured, beaten and then released. Dawes, bluffed his ass out of being captured by insinuating that there were more Patriots and that they killed two redcoats. Revere, fresh off a pistol-whipping went off to see John Adams and Hancock and warn them that their wanted for treason and that shit just got real!
10. He was a stand up dude and a romantic. Paul wrote poetry and riddles about his love for Rachel. It gets mushy and complex in parts, but the man had the makings of a true sap.
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Guy Cry Movies
Lets get one thing straight... they say its only appropriate for a guy to cry when his dog dies or his team wins the championship. I'd add movies to that list. No folks, its not man-o-pause. It's acknowledging the plain, simple truth that we dudes are sensitive beasts. And while were not exactly grabbing the Kleenex during "Atonement", we prefer to wear long sleeves during "Brian's Song".
Be it sports, wars, father/son opus', epic adventures, and even the occasional romance... releasing your inner Boehner is becoming more accepted. This list eliminates the need to run for the kitchen to do some impetuous onion peeling. Let em flow brothers, let em flow.
1. Rudy - If you don't shed a tear at this one, you have no heart. In fact, you're devoid of dreams, ambitions, and hope. This is more than a sports movie... it's the story we all want to live out; a young man who fights his way into everything and only at the last second is rewarded by his resiliency and grit. The music too, just makes you want to live an epic life.
2. Saving Private Ryan - When Captain Miller grabs Pvt James Ryan and whispers, "Earn this", we realize that the old man in the beginning is the title character. "Tell me I'm a good man", he says to his wife. As I've seen older men handle the end of their lives, the word honorable is a common theme. This film represents what it is to have honor, and that resonates a truly loud echo for those men that see this film both as a hallmark to the halls of masculinity, and those who have seen war.
3. It's A Wonderful Life - No man is a failure who has friends. Who doesn't shed one at this? Sure it's a Christmas movie, but it's about a man who despite his dreams floundering, finds that the quality of life lies with those who you've influenced.
4. Field of Dreams - The unspoken words between father and son can resonate for ages after either have passed. Sometimes those wounds never heal, but a few people by divine chance are given a second pass at repairing said inflictions. Baseball, while not every ones fancy has an ability to bring the most diverse of personalities into harmonious communion. When Ray plays catch with his father at the end of the film, you finally realize that despite past differences, there will forever be a bond rooted in love.
5. Star Trek 2: The Wrath of Khan - Spock dying, you know the scene. "You are and will always be... my friend." Shit.
6. Old Yeller - How do you not put this one on the list? Last September my parents put my beagle Margie to sleep while I was away on a training event. Upon coming home I cried at her her little plot, complete with a cross and a wreath. Yeah I cried. We'll every time you watch Old Yeller, it's like putting you're dog to sleep over... and over... and over again. Only you have to shoot it. All that to say, that dog was pretty amazing.
7. Braveheart - Sacrifice. This film has one scene in particular that tugs on the heart strings. Specifically where William Wallace rallies the army to stay and fight. "Show England that they make take our lives, but they'll never take.... our freedom." This monologue soars the heart and makes even the meekest of us believe we can take on the world. And yeah, it brings a condensation to the optics.
8. The Notebook - It's become more socially acceptable to have seen this. It's also become more acceptable to cry. Say what you want, but yeah, it's a great film, and an epic romance. I watched this film with a bunch of dudes while deployed to the middle east. There wasn't one dry eye in the midst of us. My one friend even said as the beginning credits rolled that should he myst up, he would deliver an ass whooping. What happened? He was too sad.
9. Brian's Song - Chances are you haven't seen this film. And it's your loss because this film is truly touching. A Hemingway quote leaves a tragic foreshadow saying, "Every true story ends in death. Well this is a true story." Again sports play backdrop to a very touching story of friendship, or more so, brotherhood. See this film.
10. Cool Runnings - OK, this isn't one typically associated with tears, but I loved John Candy when I was younger. This weird fact coupled with it being his last (good) movie and a somewhat touching finale of the film where the one racer's father exudes an enthusiasm in his son. A good film about a group of long shots who earn the respect of those they're trying to emulate.
11. Armageddon - Whatever.... Bruce Willis dies the way every real man wants to.... saving the world.
12. Love Actually - Don't act like this is a surprise. When the little boy runs after the "love of his life", we were all cheering for him. The better part of us was wishing him better luck than we had when our first loves slapped us in the face and stormed off.
Be it sports, wars, father/son opus', epic adventures, and even the occasional romance... releasing your inner Boehner is becoming more accepted. This list eliminates the need to run for the kitchen to do some impetuous onion peeling. Let em flow brothers, let em flow.
1. Rudy - If you don't shed a tear at this one, you have no heart. In fact, you're devoid of dreams, ambitions, and hope. This is more than a sports movie... it's the story we all want to live out; a young man who fights his way into everything and only at the last second is rewarded by his resiliency and grit. The music too, just makes you want to live an epic life.
2. Saving Private Ryan - When Captain Miller grabs Pvt James Ryan and whispers, "Earn this", we realize that the old man in the beginning is the title character. "Tell me I'm a good man", he says to his wife. As I've seen older men handle the end of their lives, the word honorable is a common theme. This film represents what it is to have honor, and that resonates a truly loud echo for those men that see this film both as a hallmark to the halls of masculinity, and those who have seen war.
3. It's A Wonderful Life - No man is a failure who has friends. Who doesn't shed one at this? Sure it's a Christmas movie, but it's about a man who despite his dreams floundering, finds that the quality of life lies with those who you've influenced.
4. Field of Dreams - The unspoken words between father and son can resonate for ages after either have passed. Sometimes those wounds never heal, but a few people by divine chance are given a second pass at repairing said inflictions. Baseball, while not every ones fancy has an ability to bring the most diverse of personalities into harmonious communion. When Ray plays catch with his father at the end of the film, you finally realize that despite past differences, there will forever be a bond rooted in love.
5. Star Trek 2: The Wrath of Khan - Spock dying, you know the scene. "You are and will always be... my friend." Shit.
6. Old Yeller - How do you not put this one on the list? Last September my parents put my beagle Margie to sleep while I was away on a training event. Upon coming home I cried at her her little plot, complete with a cross and a wreath. Yeah I cried. We'll every time you watch Old Yeller, it's like putting you're dog to sleep over... and over... and over again. Only you have to shoot it. All that to say, that dog was pretty amazing.
7. Braveheart - Sacrifice. This film has one scene in particular that tugs on the heart strings. Specifically where William Wallace rallies the army to stay and fight. "Show England that they make take our lives, but they'll never take.... our freedom." This monologue soars the heart and makes even the meekest of us believe we can take on the world. And yeah, it brings a condensation to the optics.
8. The Notebook - It's become more socially acceptable to have seen this. It's also become more acceptable to cry. Say what you want, but yeah, it's a great film, and an epic romance. I watched this film with a bunch of dudes while deployed to the middle east. There wasn't one dry eye in the midst of us. My one friend even said as the beginning credits rolled that should he myst up, he would deliver an ass whooping. What happened? He was too sad.
9. Brian's Song - Chances are you haven't seen this film. And it's your loss because this film is truly touching. A Hemingway quote leaves a tragic foreshadow saying, "Every true story ends in death. Well this is a true story." Again sports play backdrop to a very touching story of friendship, or more so, brotherhood. See this film.
10. Cool Runnings - OK, this isn't one typically associated with tears, but I loved John Candy when I was younger. This weird fact coupled with it being his last (good) movie and a somewhat touching finale of the film where the one racer's father exudes an enthusiasm in his son. A good film about a group of long shots who earn the respect of those they're trying to emulate.
11. Armageddon - Whatever.... Bruce Willis dies the way every real man wants to.... saving the world.
12. Love Actually - Don't act like this is a surprise. When the little boy runs after the "love of his life", we were all cheering for him. The better part of us was wishing him better luck than we had when our first loves slapped us in the face and stormed off.
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Do Things Really Come Full Circle?
Who the fuck knows. I think they do. Not because I'm an oracle or hold the baton of wisdom. The fact remains for all of us that we are the sum total of our experiences. I've seen events, opportunities, hobbies, trips, relationships, and jobs stem out of the seemingly innocuous childhood adventures. Let me give you the first anecdote. Old Man Strewn or Big Kev for the divide between friends in the arena of Strawn family exposure; once purchased his eldest child a chemical set, because my elementary years were filled with the wanderlust of one day being a world class pharmacist. I started making water turn blue and then red and then back to blue. For a solid 5 years that's all I wanted to do. I know, because my Mom bought this keepsake book. In it, with scribbled handwriting, I wrote that my future lied in khemistree. I even spelled it with a K. (That's how they taught us in Bangor). Once the novelty of color changing liquids wore off, I abandoned all hope and moved toward being the next Michael Bay. It wasn't until this year that I realized consuming the by-product of chemistry was the missing ingredient. I'm talking about beer. Is this a full circle revelation? Maybe. Time will tell.
Other hobbies like playing with pellet guns, paintball, and the scouts led a more obvious path to a career in the military. My foray into journalism though was little more fascinating. Years ago in the sixth grade I was asked to try out to be a TV anchor for our schools morning announcements. I remember those tryouts because I cheerfully read Mickey Mantle's obituary liked a drugged up child. Yankees fans be damned, I roused the audience to new heights like Sam Adams at a tea party. My signature routine was reading the schools birthdays. It was fun. I even got my picture in the paper. Damn I looked good. Still do.
Sorry. Anyway. It wasn't until I lost my zeal for making movies; coupled with an internship that I realized my passion still years to investigate the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. So help me God. I got to be an anchor for a package, write stories, and decide if this is my path. Who knows?
I discussed with a friend the idea of fighting destiny, and I'm incredulous to take a stand. However, I do believe in destiny, but I also believe there is a fight in all of us to do our hearts bidding, even if it runs counter to the ebb and flow of life. Romans 12:3 illustrates my hearts rationale. "The only accurate way to understand ourselves is by what God is and by what he does for us." Understanding our past is the key to making sense of the present and letting your faith guide your future. With so many people struggling to find themselves, maybe its time to look at who you were, because purpose may lie in the trail we've blazed. Rick Warren says, "Without a purpose life is motion without meaning, activity without direction, and events without reason. Without a purpose, life is trivial, petty and pointless."
I couldn't agree more.
I do know that there are common themes that replay through life. Take my Mom. One time my brother and I were very little. We were little shits. Anyway. My mom went in the house to answer the phone, leaving Nate and I in the car. Back then we had no garage and our house was on a hill. And either Nate or I put the car in drive and we were creeping to the cliff. My mom ran out and grabbed the wheel... the car dragging her. Mom stopped the car but was injured. But I remember that when I think of sacrifice. Had she not stopped it, chances are my brother Nate (think Ronald Weasely) or I might not have ever had a dueling whiskey chug-off on the top of Landon's hill. Sacrifice is something that I see a lot. Whether its ideals, feelings, or serendipitous events, it seems that life will always teach us things. It's our job to watch, listen, and feel....
... and to take notes.
Thursday, August 4, 2011
Renaissance Men
Let me just say that it's been a few interesting weeks. Upon falling on my knee during an interior design mishap, I became acutely aware that this would not be a quick fix. Something I've grown accustomed to in my life has always been "muscling through". This was not such an instance. The pain was unbearable and surgery was imminent. It affected me career wise, with the revoking of a military school, and subsequently financially as well. I also decided to spend those few weeks in Pennsylvania because Fox News had filled out the next months schedule. PA is a strange beast as its my favorite place, yet its not my home... right now. I did this because its cheaper and my parents have internet and air conditioning, two non-essentials for an urbanite in Obama's economy. Despite all this, I've been very resourceful. In the last few weeks I've become involved in a small business (thats all I'm saying right now), applied for a graduate certificate in DC, and assembled most of my materials for an MBA program at Del Val College. Other things like paying bills, brewing beer, fishing, reading 5 books, finishing a journal, running, hiking, swimming, building a deer blind for hunting season, and spending time with folks I haven't seen in years have occupied my time. Trips to Cabela's, Penn State, Eagles training camp and even heading back to NYC for roof top parties and Vacation Bible School training camp have been welcomed surprises. All this to say... I've come to the conclusion that I can do a lot with God.
I was called a Renaissance Man the other day and it kind of hit me. Granted I have a lot of hobbies. Some I do well, others I'm an amateur at best. And then theirs things I do horribly... like working on cars. Bloody horrible. But what if God calls us, to be Renaissance Men? What if we're supposed to be eclectic in our talents and works. When you look at the founding fathers and their occupations, most had several. Washington was a surveyor, farmer, soldier, politician, and businessman. Adams was a farmer, lawyer, politician, and writer. Jefferson was farmer, inventor, lawyer, politician, businessman, writer, soldier and architect. And these are just the first three Presidents. Benjamin Rush was doctor, writer, professor, psychologist, and politician. John Witherspoon was the only clergy to sign the declaration but he too was a politician and yet he was also the President of Princeton University.
I admire these men due to our nation's founding, but also their desire to be great and to understand their world through a diverse scope of experience and understanding. Why is it that our leaders today are so monolithic in their experience? How can one lead without the central quality of experience? Such experience is an umbrella for education, business, leadership, military, and other fields. When I see NOTHING BUT lawyers hold leadership posts I'm discouraged. Not because they're lawyers, but because we've allowed ourselves to be hoodwinked into believing rhetoric is the sole distinction of leadership. I admire each of these professions but any understanding alone can simply not warrant high office. Paired or even coupled with multiple educations, multiple experiences in business, leadership, and military positions make for those who can and will make articulate reasoning. I ask why people who haven't taken economic classes or ever owned a business making economic or business decisions based on things they've "heard" or read about?
My call for American leadership is for the Renaissance Men (and women) to stand up and take charge, before those with nothing but mediocre talents and ivy league educations let our republic crumble. Is it a wonder that our founders all studied Roman and Greek history? Is it a wonder that their studies combined the ideas of Reformation and Enlightenment? We strive to wonder how we can be great, yet were not willing to truly understand our first great men.
Sunday, November 14, 2010
The 11th Wheel: The Last Days of Being a One Man Wolfpack
I'm 26.
Let that settle in for a second before you come to realize that I should've had a quarter-life crisis by now. Well I have... it involved a bottle of Jack and me in my underware swearing at God in a hail storm on the Appalachian Trail. Needless to say that said crisis makes you realize, your twenties are damn near over and your nowhere near where you want to be in life. Sure you have some time to screw around or buckle down but the majority of your family and friends look at you like you need to un-fuck your life.
In the last year virtually all of my best friends have proposed, gotten married, or have impregnated their better halves. It is awesome, don't get me wrong. I have feelings of utmost joy for them, but I also know, that our days of crazy antics are limited (i.e. no more hopping on moving trains). All that to say, I have officially become that guy. So as I'm preparing to be the cast type man-boy, I know that going forth is an even narrower road. Weddings, and saturday night dinners, even bar outings will be conversations riddled with talks of mortgages, babies, Modern Family episodes and domestication. That word "domesticated" makes me want to rip off my shirt and run into the woods with a trout in my mouth and wear nothing but some Tarzan-esque banana hammock. YOU can't tame this burly beast!
But sooner or later I know that I'll be lured into the life of a family patriarch, a mini-van man. I get the itch from time to time, but lasting commitment to me currently is deciding which Captain Crunch flavor I want in my cereal bowl for the nest week. It's interesting how we evolve, our relationships, our choices, our lifestyles. Even now, when in the midst of good friends and family who have started their next season of life, I feel that I'm still not quite finished in this phase. They wonder and ask questions, but I kind of smile. So as I prepare to attend 800 weddings in the next year and embark on the new endeavors near the end of this season, I try to enjoy watching my friends pave the way. Their pavement, leads to my cruising.
Vagabond Americana: My 2010
I have to say, this was a banner year for me. I got to do things and see places I've never been before. Looking forward, I knew it was going to be an interesting 12 months with my trip west essentially breaking my year into thirds around a Manhattan shaped bun. In the world of The Duke, living in a place longer than 6 months means an eternity. So this being my first entry for months means I have to have some sort of powerful inner reflection to bring everyone up to speed, but It dosen't work like that...
I started my year out living in NYC working for Fox News. My Queens based apartment had me cramped in with two awkwardly social Asians, one of whom couldve been doing shady pawn shop deals. My goals were simple up until May, see one of my best friends get married, run a half marathon, and prepare for western pursuits with the Army. My buddy got hitched in a beautiful ceremony with me wathcing with a camo tie. I then ran the half, and then committed to a full 26.2 miles in the fall, and eventually packed out all of my belongings to PA. I said good bye to a lot of friends in Queens who sadly I haven't seen even still. But the next few months would stretch me beyond my normal limits.
I drove out west after a week in B-town, PA... coming across individuals who I've come to know over the years. All great people. Upon reaching Arizona I found out that Intelligence school, required, well.... intelligence. Alot of reading and briefings made my type A personality feel right at home when it came to speaking and self promoting. While out west I made great friends and managed to do a bunch of neat things; off-roading, bull riding, sky diving, karaoke, paintballing, hiking, and working on my beachnut body. I loved Arizona, still do. I even managed to find weekend trips to Santa Barbara and Austin, TX.
But sensing the tide of change has become a hobby of mine, and so too that came to an end. I then drove up north with a friend of mine through Yellowstone and Grand Tetons to Montana, then hitting up Rushmore back east. Again, my appreciation for all things America eased me into waxing patriotic. This year strengthened my appeal for Our Country. The mountains, prairies and heartland acknowledge God's sovereignty over our blessed people. My trip's revelation also promoted what I think I've known all along... that I love Pennsylvania.
I could not help to realize that I missed Rosie's Diner in Roseto, PA, or that shortly I would be walking in the woods to miss deer with my crossbow or taste my mom's phenomenal pumpkin bread. Needless to say I got the speedometer up to 90MPH with these looming thoughts. Before reaching the doorstep of my parents home, I walked over to the burial site of dog Margie who had sadly passed during my travels. I said a prayer and shed a tear. Evey man is allowed to cry when his dog dies or his team wins the championship. I tend to break these rules quite a bit because I'm such a sentimental bastard, but found myself finally complying with man rules. I miss Margie, but I knew that life would quickly become chaotic.
I spent time hunting and training for my marathon in DC. I did OK when race day actually approached. I ran a 4:51, which is the speed of a tortoise, but hey... I lived to tell the tale. I also got to see off a friend to Afghanistan and welcome another one back to my hometown. Returning to Fox News was also a welcoming return to normalcy. One known factor that has always lingered in my thoughts throughout my year was the election and on Nov 3rd I got to see a Conservative ground swell take control of the House, and see PA elect two solid leaders, Pat Toomey and Tom Corbett.
But all things change, and so with another month and a half left to go, well see what exactly the rest of 2010 holds for me. As potential changes in careers, locations, goals and ambitions mirror my capriciousness, I'm open to seeing through God's plan in my life. This was a year where I got to hurdle over many a obstacles and see great personal growth. My thoughts lead me to believe that there will be even bigger changes in the next two months. My only wish is that I can a little rest...
I started my year out living in NYC working for Fox News. My Queens based apartment had me cramped in with two awkwardly social Asians, one of whom couldve been doing shady pawn shop deals. My goals were simple up until May, see one of my best friends get married, run a half marathon, and prepare for western pursuits with the Army. My buddy got hitched in a beautiful ceremony with me wathcing with a camo tie. I then ran the half, and then committed to a full 26.2 miles in the fall, and eventually packed out all of my belongings to PA. I said good bye to a lot of friends in Queens who sadly I haven't seen even still. But the next few months would stretch me beyond my normal limits.
I drove out west after a week in B-town, PA... coming across individuals who I've come to know over the years. All great people. Upon reaching Arizona I found out that Intelligence school, required, well.... intelligence. Alot of reading and briefings made my type A personality feel right at home when it came to speaking and self promoting. While out west I made great friends and managed to do a bunch of neat things; off-roading, bull riding, sky diving, karaoke, paintballing, hiking, and working on my beachnut body. I loved Arizona, still do. I even managed to find weekend trips to Santa Barbara and Austin, TX.
But sensing the tide of change has become a hobby of mine, and so too that came to an end. I then drove up north with a friend of mine through Yellowstone and Grand Tetons to Montana, then hitting up Rushmore back east. Again, my appreciation for all things America eased me into waxing patriotic. This year strengthened my appeal for Our Country. The mountains, prairies and heartland acknowledge God's sovereignty over our blessed people. My trip's revelation also promoted what I think I've known all along... that I love Pennsylvania.
I could not help to realize that I missed Rosie's Diner in Roseto, PA, or that shortly I would be walking in the woods to miss deer with my crossbow or taste my mom's phenomenal pumpkin bread. Needless to say I got the speedometer up to 90MPH with these looming thoughts. Before reaching the doorstep of my parents home, I walked over to the burial site of dog Margie who had sadly passed during my travels. I said a prayer and shed a tear. Evey man is allowed to cry when his dog dies or his team wins the championship. I tend to break these rules quite a bit because I'm such a sentimental bastard, but found myself finally complying with man rules. I miss Margie, but I knew that life would quickly become chaotic.
I spent time hunting and training for my marathon in DC. I did OK when race day actually approached. I ran a 4:51, which is the speed of a tortoise, but hey... I lived to tell the tale. I also got to see off a friend to Afghanistan and welcome another one back to my hometown. Returning to Fox News was also a welcoming return to normalcy. One known factor that has always lingered in my thoughts throughout my year was the election and on Nov 3rd I got to see a Conservative ground swell take control of the House, and see PA elect two solid leaders, Pat Toomey and Tom Corbett.
But all things change, and so with another month and a half left to go, well see what exactly the rest of 2010 holds for me. As potential changes in careers, locations, goals and ambitions mirror my capriciousness, I'm open to seeing through God's plan in my life. This was a year where I got to hurdle over many a obstacles and see great personal growth. My thoughts lead me to believe that there will be even bigger changes in the next two months. My only wish is that I can a little rest...
Friday, February 26, 2010
Fabio's Nose: I Can't Believe It's Not Here... Anymore
In one month we will be honoring the memory of the world's greatest nose. That of Fabio. For those whose memory is filled with bong resin, cobwebs, and hours of Japanimation porn I'll reignite the torch of knowledge and bring light to your oh so dark world. I will paint the picture of that dark March day...
Williamsburg, VA - March 30, 1999, the man who inspired "Zoolander", THE Male Supermodel Fabio suffered a one-inch cut on his nose after a bird hit him while riding the Apollo roller coaster at Busch Gardens. It wasn't just an ordinary bird that proclaimed kamikazee status, it was the feared Canada Goose. According to a star-struck witness the winged-terror hit Fabio during the plummet down the roller coaster's first drop of 210 feet at speeds of up to 73 mph. Fabio was taken from the park to the Williamsburg Community Hospital where he was treated and released for a minor cut. Following the incident Busch Gardens Williamsburg spokeswoman Deborah L. DeMarco commented, "He's fine, no serious injuries."But we knew better. We all knew, this would divide the world... into those who use butter, and those who use margarine . Fabio wisely declined to talk after the incident and instead opted to return to Los Angeles to bathe in chocolate and swim with seals. As for the nefarious goose... he did not fair so well. According to one park guest a dead goose could be seen floating in the river below the drop where Fabio was supposedly hit. Rot in hell goose... rot in hell!
That day, it wasn't butter that knocked our poor hero off his pedestal, it was a damned migratory fowl. R.I.P Fabio's real nose... R.I.P.
Kama Sutra Obama: His Words of Love, His Politics of Rape
Our Presidente has shown of late something that makes me smile. He's angry. You can tell he's angry. Those of you who like him think its because of his desire to put "the American people" before politics. Those like me who think he couldn't run a lemonade stand without a university-backed grant, think he's mad because he's not getting his own way and is resorting to acting like a whining infant. I said it. I imagine the lefties who occasionally view this blog for a good chuckle are clutching their soy lattes with fists of anger right now. So be it. Now that we had a health care summit and boths sides got their words in, I'd like to point out two very distinct things that might make all who read this very alarmed. First, the exchange between Comrade Obama and Sen. John McCain. It goes something like this...
PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA: Let me just make this point, John. Because we're not campaigning anymore. The election is over.
SENATOR JOHN MCCAIN, R-ARIZ.: I'm reminded of that every day.
OBAMA: My concern is, is that if we do that, then we're essentially back on Fox News or MSNBC on the split screen to start going back and forth.
MCCAIN: Could I just say, Mr. President, the American people care about what we did and how we did it.
CROSSTALKMCCAIN: And that's a subject that I think we should discuss. And I thank you.
OBAMA: They absolutely do care about it, John. And I think that the way you characterized it obviously would get some strong objections from the other side.
Im taken by this, not for the merely intellectual pursuit of asking why our President made mention of campaigning, but to the effect in why must he say something that has no significance in the present form. Did he feel the need to project his win, or his stature? Does he feel inadequate? Do people see him as weak in his eyes? I honestly don't have the answers but our President is showing classic examples of being that brat on the playground with a new pigskin football when the rest of us are sporting Nerf. I think, that despite whats happened in the town hall meetings, in the Massachusetts election, in the Tea Party movement, our President will not look at the warning signs, nor look at the will of the American people. The roads point to '94... yet their feet are not off the gas. It begs to wonder who Mr. Obama is driven by, or what he believes? If he agrees to just hear ideas disguised in the cloak of bipartisanship, the American people will see his platitudes... and this little exchange shows that he is not ready to listen. And folks, theres a big difference between hearing and listening.
Around 12:45 of the summit, Obama rebuked Minority Whip Eric Cantor for displaying a copy of the 2,000-plus page health care bill, calling it one of the "political things we do" that prevent a real conversation, saying there is honest disagreement over how much government regulation of the insurance industry there should be, but Republican ideas won't address dropping people with pre-existing conditions and other problems. What's comical about this is... well, it's 2,000 fucking pages long! The only things worth reading at that length are Harry Potter and cook books inspired by television shows (i.e. The Sopranos). Mr. Cantor had every right to bring in and make a scene because it over complicates legalities and creates loop-holes and allows for hidden language within the bill. Ive read bills, they're exhausting. The President fails to mention that Republicans believe in business bundling, which addresses pre-existing conditions. Despite what many say, Republicans want their ideas heard, but the administration won't allow a voice to be heard besides its own. While his words create the hyperbole of benevolence, we wonder if its all for the sake of the American, or if its something more motivated by deep-rooted ideological blindness. Words have power and our President isn't a fool. I don't believe he's evil, but I do believe a man unchecked by his own ambition and goals (especially one so as radical as his) will lead to a very destructive pattern. A sardonic friend of mine in a jovial manner always says that you can't rape the willing... but with America pulling the hand of power off her throat, we might be too late to act.
Friday, February 19, 2010
WWFD: What Would Frodo Do?
Flipping through the channels allows us to get some much needed brain dead therapy. Not only do we not really care what we watch, sometimes were able to tolerate something we feel totally oblivious too. Flashing pictures across the screen develop us into complete drones, but then we find something that sucks us in and steals our attention. It could be Maury reading paternity tests, or Judge Judy sticking it to a woman who kidnapped her female lover's parrot. What about the E! True Hollywood Story of Gary Busey or an invigorating Lifetime movie about a woman seeking vengeance on her abusive spouse. But the other day I saw someone who reminded me why I keep going on. God bless TNT. Sure, they may know drama... but they also know how to drive a beloved movie into the damn grave by playing it 10,000 times. They killed "The Shawshank Redemption" and now they seek to make "The Lord of the Rings" their next target. I came across the scene where Frodo volunteers take the ring all the way to Mordor. This scene struck me, as I sit with beer in hand, other hand scratching my burly chest, and I pondered....
How big of balls, does Frodo have?
Think about it... He must suffer from the Irish curse. Smallest dude in the room decides to take the ring into Mordor. How should every one of those other ass holes feel? Frodo is obviously afraid... its seen throughout the movie. He's also unequipped, uneducated, and unsure of himself, yet he decides to do it anyway. Why? Because its the right thing. I'm amazed at today's so-called leaders, or elites, entertainers, intellectuals... because much like those who gathered at Rivendell, they are unable to make the choice, to decide, to step out and take a chance and see that there is evil out there. They are not willing to put their lives on the line, but instead leave it to those who just want to return home and live a life of peace.
John Wayne once said, "Courage is being scared to death, but saddling up anyway." Courage, and Frodo... are very much like the ballsack. Ugly, yes. Pragmatic, no. Painful, most of the time. But does it pay to have a ballsack? Does the ballsack get the job done? Yeah... yeah it does.
Sunday, February 14, 2010
The Shoe-Leather Express
A couple months back I came to a pivotal moment where I stood in the mirror and looked at myself. Normally I stare at my body and admire the physique Zeus would clearly envy, but I pondered the meaning of my God-given exoskeleton and realized it was high time I put it to good use. Should I model? Nah... Id put a lot of talentless people out of work and would feel bad about causing an economic upheaval, so I enlisted in a local half-marathon. (P.S. I hope you people know I'm full of shit when it comes to anything cosmopolitan). Since this life changing decision I've spent every waking hour on the tread mill. I signed up for it before everyone else thought it would be cool to run for Haiti, but I rationalized it by saying I would run for JWOWW. I realized this was a mistake when I knew even Pauly couldn't break up her relationship with some pizza delivery guy she "loved" on the "Jersey Shore"... damn it, I'm on a tangent. But I returned to my roots and decided it was best just to run, because I love to. However, only running can be quite the bore. Its like watching the movie "Tremors", you can do it a lot, but sometimes you need some spice... every now and then you need a little "Starship Troopers". Ive been able to supplement my training by doing eclectic exercises including speed hiking, spinning, and... snow shoeing.
Its no secret I've been longing to take my only cool Christmas present out since I unwrapped them, but what I got was a whirlwind of bliss and a challenging workout. I spent two days unleashing my inner Daniel Boone by venturing onto lakes and up to mountain tops. It was therapeutic, adventurous and it aided in my workout to run the 13.1 coming up in April. Part of the fun for me is new and interesting ways I can work a sweat. The same formulaic shit won't cover it. But running and cardiovascular workouts can be so much fun and inventive if left to the imagination.
Its no secret I've been longing to take my only cool Christmas present out since I unwrapped them, but what I got was a whirlwind of bliss and a challenging workout. I spent two days unleashing my inner Daniel Boone by venturing onto lakes and up to mountain tops. It was therapeutic, adventurous and it aided in my workout to run the 13.1 coming up in April. Part of the fun for me is new and interesting ways I can work a sweat. The same formulaic shit won't cover it. But running and cardiovascular workouts can be so much fun and inventive if left to the imagination.
The Guide on Getting Through Valentine's Day
You might look at the title of this and come to the natural conclusion that going solo in the sex department with Miss KY is the way to handle the foreboding task of making it through the holiday that makes single people weep, but a word of caution must be delivered to my fellow bohemians... keep your eyes open. I initially thought a list of innocuous, yet humorous tasks could fill that shitty, single feeling you get when having to live though every February 14th, but this year I can honestly say Im not bitter about being single. Im not lonely. Im not depressed. Im not shaking my fists at the heavens asking why Im not married, or busy procreating, even in the midst of all of my friends getting engaged or married. I am in fact at peace with who I am. Let me explain ass wipes.
Of late Im realizing that no encounter lacks hidden significance. We have interactions every day that shape our very being and if these interactions are valid and we believe they are, then we have to acknowledge some sort of devine intervention. Maybe Im snowballing here, but if you believe in those meetings, then Im guessing you believe in a God of some sort. Let me go further into the rabit hole and mention contentment. I feel to be truely content is to be in love with the present, the moment... embracing it as your soul mate. Each second you have the right to live how you want to, in that second.
NO IM NOT HIGH (but I have been up for 28 hours straight)
Dont try and control your circumstance this Valentines Day, instead embrace the holiday as you are. To paraphrase something that I read of late, "trying to conrol your contenmnet is like wanting Easter without Good Friday." You have to get the total package to truely appreciate the coming future, and that does not excuse you from excluding the present. So embrace it because it will make you more whole, and when that special someone does come down the line, itll make all the single V-Days seem like a great learning experience. And what the hell... have a beer. Just don't get caught urinating on venerated objects.
Monday, February 8, 2010
2010: A Conservative Punch
So, I've taken a month or so off. Sue me fans, sue me. As many of you who watch the news can attest many a pieces have been moved into place for the Republican party to regain the House, and to some speculators... possibly the Senate. With Scott Brown's on-slaught of Martha Coakley and matchup numbers across the board favoring Republican candidates, were starting to see a nation at the brink of busting one-party control. While this entry is a catalyst to future analysis, I would like to remind us how we have been inching our way toward this eventual shift in American opinion. Currently Rasmussen has our President's approval rating at 42% and while much of this might be a referendum on his policies, were seeing something else that I've seen hardly anyone comment on. An attack on incumbents, in both parties. Congress has had a 20% approval rating now since 2007, but many districts and states feel their guy is for them. In the next few parargraphs I want to very simplistically narrarate why Republicans will be winning in 2010.
I believe 2006 and 2008 taught Republicans across the board something. I remember the old proverbial wisdom of my father when he said, "sometimes you just need to get your ass kicked." Well Republicans did and rightfully so. With little to identify with and the so-called "need to moderate", many in our party felt a reallignment was needed. With a wave of anti-establishment sentiment, our countries moderates took to voting in sweeping majorities to Democrats in both houses and the WH. Many in the GOP believed they had been too conservative including Colin Powell, Chuck Hagel, Chafee Lincoln and Arlen Specter. With America's newly elected President, many saw our nation on a new course and hope to alleviate the recent econmic downturn. What Americans didnt suspect was an all out assault on capitalism.
Our President and Congress pushed the largest budget the U.S. had ever known and began to bailout companies in an effort to stimulate the weak market. With the debt growing to more than four times what it was, we raise our personal debt to 12 trillion dollars and began to increase taxes to attack the rich. The administration also looked into Cap and Trade which in itself is another tax, and the now infamous health care reform which has been an epic saga that has ignited huge opposition. Now we have the highest unemployment in 25 years, and the administration continues to blame his predecessor and the opposition party despite having super majorities in the House and the Senate for most of the year. Amidst this angst, a movement of conservatives, libertarians, independents, some liberals, and constitutionalists became increasingly impassioned by the outrageous spending and arogant management and decided to send Washington a message. That message was the TEA Parties which began on tax day last April and have been gaining speed throughout the U.S. ever since. Its no secret that the TEA Party largely supports many Republican beliefs, but plenty in the movement disdain the party for its lack of true leadership and backbone, and what many say is that theyve abandoned their roots. Time will tell.
Many simply say that the Republican party is the "so-called" party of NO, however little attention in the media has brought the fact that Republicans produced numerous reports and proposals on health care, energy, the economy, intelligence and war time protocol. The President and his administration campaigned on transparency and the public got just the opposite. Closed doors and sweetheart deals is exactly the kind of disgust voters have rejected in the past and the last year came to be much of the same stuff were used to. With this, weve seen parallel victories to 1993, by conservative victories in New Jersey, Virginia, and Massachusetts. The taking of Kennedy's seat has been the sonorous bell-weather that has Democrats quaking in their shoes.
While many have been saying that Republican victory of the House is inevitable, the Senate is another story. With several retirements in New Hampshire, Ohio, Kentucky, Florida, and several other states we find it to be an uphill battle, but running state-by-state potential matchups, Republicans may be able to bring their total seats to 51. Is this big... yes! Why is this important? Several reasons... budget control, immigration and health care reform, and yes... the future of the Supreme Court. In 2011, John Paul Stevens will become the longest serving Supreme Court Justice in history and its no secret he wants to retire shortly after the record is shattered. Not too mention Ruth Bader Ginsburg's rumored desire to sit down. This is the interesting affect a new Republican majority could have, a block on future court appointees, remember Clinton's only two seated picks were in the first two years of his administration before the infamous "Contract with America."
My cautionairy tale to fellow Republicans and conservatives... elect our own. The problem with states who have open elections is that they can nominate anyone, including moderates. When we elect RINO's, thats when we get in trouble. If we don't stand for something, well fall for anything. With the possibility of Illinois' Mark Kirk as a Senator, I'm reluctant to say I'd be pleased to have him on my team. However, when we get a Scott Brown, or a Pat Toomey or another budding individual to ebraces free market principles, strong national defense, fiscal conservatism, social conservatism, and a constitutional understanding, the Republican party can be seen as the go-to party for big ideas whose concepts are birthed out of individual liberty and unprecedented freedoms.
I believe 2006 and 2008 taught Republicans across the board something. I remember the old proverbial wisdom of my father when he said, "sometimes you just need to get your ass kicked." Well Republicans did and rightfully so. With little to identify with and the so-called "need to moderate", many in our party felt a reallignment was needed. With a wave of anti-establishment sentiment, our countries moderates took to voting in sweeping majorities to Democrats in both houses and the WH. Many in the GOP believed they had been too conservative including Colin Powell, Chuck Hagel, Chafee Lincoln and Arlen Specter. With America's newly elected President, many saw our nation on a new course and hope to alleviate the recent econmic downturn. What Americans didnt suspect was an all out assault on capitalism.
Our President and Congress pushed the largest budget the U.S. had ever known and began to bailout companies in an effort to stimulate the weak market. With the debt growing to more than four times what it was, we raise our personal debt to 12 trillion dollars and began to increase taxes to attack the rich. The administration also looked into Cap and Trade which in itself is another tax, and the now infamous health care reform which has been an epic saga that has ignited huge opposition. Now we have the highest unemployment in 25 years, and the administration continues to blame his predecessor and the opposition party despite having super majorities in the House and the Senate for most of the year. Amidst this angst, a movement of conservatives, libertarians, independents, some liberals, and constitutionalists became increasingly impassioned by the outrageous spending and arogant management and decided to send Washington a message. That message was the TEA Parties which began on tax day last April and have been gaining speed throughout the U.S. ever since. Its no secret that the TEA Party largely supports many Republican beliefs, but plenty in the movement disdain the party for its lack of true leadership and backbone, and what many say is that theyve abandoned their roots. Time will tell.
Many simply say that the Republican party is the "so-called" party of NO, however little attention in the media has brought the fact that Republicans produced numerous reports and proposals on health care, energy, the economy, intelligence and war time protocol. The President and his administration campaigned on transparency and the public got just the opposite. Closed doors and sweetheart deals is exactly the kind of disgust voters have rejected in the past and the last year came to be much of the same stuff were used to. With this, weve seen parallel victories to 1993, by conservative victories in New Jersey, Virginia, and Massachusetts. The taking of Kennedy's seat has been the sonorous bell-weather that has Democrats quaking in their shoes.
While many have been saying that Republican victory of the House is inevitable, the Senate is another story. With several retirements in New Hampshire, Ohio, Kentucky, Florida, and several other states we find it to be an uphill battle, but running state-by-state potential matchups, Republicans may be able to bring their total seats to 51. Is this big... yes! Why is this important? Several reasons... budget control, immigration and health care reform, and yes... the future of the Supreme Court. In 2011, John Paul Stevens will become the longest serving Supreme Court Justice in history and its no secret he wants to retire shortly after the record is shattered. Not too mention Ruth Bader Ginsburg's rumored desire to sit down. This is the interesting affect a new Republican majority could have, a block on future court appointees, remember Clinton's only two seated picks were in the first two years of his administration before the infamous "Contract with America."
My cautionairy tale to fellow Republicans and conservatives... elect our own. The problem with states who have open elections is that they can nominate anyone, including moderates. When we elect RINO's, thats when we get in trouble. If we don't stand for something, well fall for anything. With the possibility of Illinois' Mark Kirk as a Senator, I'm reluctant to say I'd be pleased to have him on my team. However, when we get a Scott Brown, or a Pat Toomey or another budding individual to ebraces free market principles, strong national defense, fiscal conservatism, social conservatism, and a constitutional understanding, the Republican party can be seen as the go-to party for big ideas whose concepts are birthed out of individual liberty and unprecedented freedoms.
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Last Minute Gift Ideas For Me
Here they are folks, run out of ideas? Ive got the answers...
1. Spray-on Tan: That's right I watch Jersey Shore, and ever since the shows name generator deemed me "The Bicep", I feel its time to Italian-ize my pythons. One would think I'd get my yearly dose of the boot country at Roseto's Big Time each year, but this Christmas I want to take it one step further and see the guns a glisten.
2. The Chia Obama - For those of you who don't know, I collect obscure trinkets of one-term Presidents and this would proudly grace my chochkey shelf alongside my H.W. Bush Sweatband and matching cuffs, and the Jimmy Carter Trapper Keeper. Who wouldn't want our ratings-deprived CIC growing green dreads and smelling carbon-free?
3. Antler Chandelier - This is like the epitome of redneck class. We beer-swilling, caribou hunting, 4x4 driving folks can be classy hosts from time to time, and this is like the paramount of being a dignified hick. Sure, some have chandeliers of gold and bronze, but antlers throw a touch of rustic swank.
4. Bean-bag Chair - Im broke as a joke living the low-wage, post college grad life and no piece of furniture would make my humble abode feel as comfy as the symbol of college bachelorhood. It says, "yeah Ive got furniture", but it also doubles as a huge damn pillow... or a dog bed.
5. Darth Maul Cup - OK, ever since Star Wars Episode 1 came out I had got all the freaking cups that Pizza Hut and Taco Bell put out, one such beverage holder has alluded my path. I got multiple Yodas, and several Jar-Jar Binks, as well as a damn Boss Nass. Boss Nass can go to hell! My brother was able to get a Maul, but not I. Nevermind if the movie stunk, its the cup that honors what could have been the most badass villain in the franchise. To think I could be drinking out of one this summer would put a smile on my nerd face.
1. Spray-on Tan: That's right I watch Jersey Shore, and ever since the shows name generator deemed me "The Bicep", I feel its time to Italian-ize my pythons. One would think I'd get my yearly dose of the boot country at Roseto's Big Time each year, but this Christmas I want to take it one step further and see the guns a glisten.
2. The Chia Obama - For those of you who don't know, I collect obscure trinkets of one-term Presidents and this would proudly grace my chochkey shelf alongside my H.W. Bush Sweatband and matching cuffs, and the Jimmy Carter Trapper Keeper. Who wouldn't want our ratings-deprived CIC growing green dreads and smelling carbon-free?
3. Antler Chandelier - This is like the epitome of redneck class. We beer-swilling, caribou hunting, 4x4 driving folks can be classy hosts from time to time, and this is like the paramount of being a dignified hick. Sure, some have chandeliers of gold and bronze, but antlers throw a touch of rustic swank.
4. Bean-bag Chair - Im broke as a joke living the low-wage, post college grad life and no piece of furniture would make my humble abode feel as comfy as the symbol of college bachelorhood. It says, "yeah Ive got furniture", but it also doubles as a huge damn pillow... or a dog bed.
5. Darth Maul Cup - OK, ever since Star Wars Episode 1 came out I had got all the freaking cups that Pizza Hut and Taco Bell put out, one such beverage holder has alluded my path. I got multiple Yodas, and several Jar-Jar Binks, as well as a damn Boss Nass. Boss Nass can go to hell! My brother was able to get a Maul, but not I. Nevermind if the movie stunk, its the cup that honors what could have been the most badass villain in the franchise. To think I could be drinking out of one this summer would put a smile on my nerd face.
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
On Afghanistan: Part 2
Its been my speculation for several months now that the President was looking to find a plan that appeased as many people as possible. After all, with a low approval rating and even some in his party starting to question heavily the direction his leadership has brought us has awakened a whole new host of critics. Despite that, a plan for the war in Afghanistan has been talked about for a while, and even the hand picking of a General that the President wanted. But after the Pres. went to West Point to tout a plan to add 30,000 troops to the impoverished region, we find ourselves with a very shortsighted path to victory. I applaud Mr. Obama in the surge, and to be honest in proportions to troop levels with comparing it to Iraq, this surge far exceeds Mr. Bush's late success. In all do honesty though what still trips me up is deadlines. By setting a timetable you allow your enemy to see an end. This happened with Vietnam and Harry Reid tried to do this with Iraq. Sunset provisions do not work. Nor does combat limitation talks, which basically state that we limit ourselves to the weapons we use. The genius of Reagan is bluffing with strength. Theres a term we use in the Army called Mildec, which refers to military deception. Its essentially a macro-level approach to psychological warfare. Frighten not just your enemy, but more importantly your enemies leadership. Im a full believer that the only way to peace is through victory. With Afganistan weve drug our feet, and both administrations are guilty of it. However having some of America's most brilliant and experienced Generals, not to mention a man who could go down in history as our greatest Secretary of Defense helps. But with winter here and the closing of the regional mountainsides and northern provinces in Tora Bora and the Hindu Kush ranges, the violence will be completely centralized to the south, completely. Thus forcing nearly all combat operations on American forces. And with a possible olive branch to Taliban leaders many within our military ranks find themselves abandoned and without decisive support. Not too mention internal gutting hosted by the DoJ and civilian trials for self-avowed terrorists. Moral is low. In fact it is in the garbage can.
Any plan I could offer would cost extreme political capitol on behalf of the Administration and would simply never be done. Those of you familiar with my ideals and beliefs know that while I supported Iraq and Afghanistan, Im a strict constitutionalist and am fastidious toward the War Powers Act of 1973. However, these operations are essential to national security and I find it frustrating that both parties are not willing to own up to the incorrigible constitutional loop-hole. That being said, national defense is a tough game to lay in regards to semantics and for those diehards out there, I welcome any and all comments for a casuist exchange that would bring clarity, yet I feel somehow were beyond the point of playing a gentlemens war, which is the sad thought of many leaders today.
Monday, December 14, 2009
EnvironMENTALLY Retarded
"This is our time. Global warming is our challenge. Economic recovery is our challenge. American leadership is our challenge. Let's step up right now. Let's not quit until we have fulfilled our responsibility to our children and our grandchildren. Thank you very much. What a great day, this is like giving birth again.”– Senator Barbara Boxer 9/30/2009
I grew up thinking people who saved whales were out there. Then I came to the conclusion that they just had too much time on their hands. Now I'm realizing that my thoughts about them are still evolving... I now currently hold the belief that they are in a cult. Hold the phone on calling me a environmental terrorist... I'm an Eagle Scout, avid hiker, hunter, and spend more time in the woods that most people do in their entire lifetime. Ive traveled throughout the world (yes Beijing) and seen the devastating impact that certain malpractices toward land, water and air have reaped, and even yet, I would consider my self a naturalist before an environmentalist.
Simply loving to be in nature isn't enough to categorize yourself as an environmentalist these days. You need to be a card-carrying member of the Sierra Club, PETA, Greenpeace or numerous other crazy groups that place animals, plants, lichens, amoebas, bark, and shark shit above human beings. Many of us on the pragmatic end tend to have priorities that revolve around entities who have opposable thumbs. However, we recognize certain validity among those on the green fringe.
Renewable energy, nuclear energy, biomass, and biofuels are all possible overlapping areas of common interest. However, crusaders have hijacked any notion of working together in a free-market based way. Now with the EPA threatening to take action if legislation isn't pushed to control emissions, well have an independent bureaucracy imposing strict and stringent regulation on the free sector. This creates a rogue tilt in checks and balances. Who really controls the EPA? The Supreme Court in 2007 ruled that the EPA is and can enforce environmental regulation. But it wont just stop there. Clean coal, restrictions and higher taxes on oil companies, permit decreases for lumber areas, and the failed policy of cap-and-trade will crush any growth and industry. Our leaders fail to recognize... government cant create jobs without a flourishing private sector. Last I checked, our economy is as limp as Tiny Tim (oh but they'll tell you were in a jobless recovery, those spinsters).
Right now, the co-sponsor of the doomed climate bill rolling through our Senate, John F'in Kerry has been touting that his bill has one thing, and one thing only on his mind... security. Saying well be safer by lessening our dependence on foreign oil is like saying gay men listen to Cher albums. No shit Kerry berry! But if its security that him and Babs are looking for why aren't we tapping into the North Slope, Brooks Range? Why aren't we developing more nuclear plants? In 1982, we had 301 oil refineries, with an estimated 230 million people living in the U.S. Today we have 149 refineries with over 300 million people. Why with more people are we allowing less drilling to take place? We've only reached a little bump after Pres Bush last year released some areas to drill, including parts of the Gulf of Mexico and the Bakken shale area in North Dakota.
My problem with environmentalists is that they never stop. Winston Churchill once said, "An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last." Those words ring true today. Rachael Carson took what was once a Nobel Prize winning creation and turned it into an environmental enemy, poor Paul Müller. That's right, DDT. It helped soldiers in World War 2 from malaria and typhus and now its deemed unfit, unless you go to other countries.
Why are other nations getting it though... I mean hell, even France is adding more nuclear plants and were dragging our knuckles, instead we get more wind farms? Booooo! Wind farms are for those losers who were proud of making towers made of macaroni and marshmallows in tech classes! I want steam and turbines! Our failed initiatives at clean coal with bloating budgets for carbon capture and sequestration has led our government apathetically saying they have a handle on it. Where is the accountability? The green revolution is in the hands of corporate insiders, and our government. Its estimated Goldman Sachs will be making tens of billions from cap and trade, which is why they threw the Dems $4.4 million for last years election. Friends, lets find ourselves seeking first our own truths, and realize that we don't have as much control over our lives as we think. The sooner we can come to grasp that, the sooner well be able to confront that there is nothing we can do, the climate will change, if that's whats even happening. Of course, cleaning up cancer causing pollutants like what Christie Whitman did as EPA Chair in the early years of Bush is something all conservatives can hop on board with, but show us the science, and show us how the free market can benefit, and IF, IF well be making a positive influence.
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Wait A Hot Shit Minute: Copenhagen's Climate Sex Change Operation
Ever since Americans have been duped from the fanatical "green" zealots that global warming is now climate change, Ive seen an increasing number of people fall for the shifting of dialogue, literally right under their noses and without question. The basis is that our climate is out of control because "we the industrious" are releasing excessive amounts of greenhouse gas, thus making our atmosphere a lot less predictable, and causing an eventual apocolypse. The greater debate however is amongst people who believe all this is happening; on whether its man made, or as a result of a natural/cyclical pattern the earth evolves in. There's no doubt to which side I stand. I mean, hell if you expect me to be here and give a balanced view then chances are you're either new to my opinions or you've been secretly having a liberal séance group send warm and fuzzies my way. Hate to disappoint but as MoNique says, "Dat shit aint happuh-nin". So listen up folks, debating climate science is best left to scientists, not political opportunists who see us moving in a new, improved green economy. Trying to have government reorganize an economy is a bad idea, having government do anything is generally horrendous. The workers are lazier and less efficient, they are held to less accountability and they get away with murder... just ask Vince Foster...ooooh.
That being said, with the "climate change" topic so heated, why isn't there any debate? Al Gore has not once debated it even at the bequest of leading scientists Dennis Avery and Lord Monckton of Brenchley, a former advisor to British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher, but yet he's out there advocating for it, and poses to make billion of dollars off it. Why has Dr. Arthur Robinson of Oregon Institute of Science and Medicine been able to gather 31,000 leading climatologists to reject man-caused climate change? Why is Mars getting hotter? Why are NASA's thermal readings of the sun indicating that its possibly in its warmest period in over 11,000 years? As Mark Levin writes, "... the Enviro-Statist abanadons reason for a faith that preaches human regression and self-loathing". Folks, long story short... its a power grab.
Since the freedom strangling efforts by Nixon in 1970, the EPA has done all it can influence society using aggressive yet efficacious actions to "clean America". What its done, using their proselytes, has mobilized a movement based on incredulous science and the elimination of debate. A great quote I like to throw against all you liberty haters out there is from Dr. Richard Lidzen. "With respect to science, the assumption behind consensus is that science is a source of authority. Rather, it is a particularly effective approach to inquiry and analysis. Skepticism is essential to science; consensus is foreign. When in 1988 Newsweek announced that all scientists agreed about global warming, this should have been a red flag of warning." Only of recent has there actually been a debate storming. With the half-assed passing of the Waxman/ Markey bill this past summer, many are looking to see it make its way through the Senate, even though the bill was never completed. The bill is officially DOA in the Senate. I could go into this for days, but recently with the University of East Anglia's emails being released (or hacked) to show the world that all the temperature records were lost or extrapulated, and then they took it upon themselves to fill in false temperature proxy, shows that people are starting to loose faith in those leaders sounding the trumpet for a green, clean, pristine mother Earth. Not too mention how Prof Michael Mann from my Alma Mater was given half a million in research grants to "prove the science was real" after gaining noteriety by the now-infamous hockey stick graph. If it were not for sharp eyes like that of Ross McKitrick and Steve McIntyre, this faulty science would not have its feet at the fire.
With Old Barry swinging by Dopenhagen, its rumored to believe he feels its his messianic duty to pledge $10 billion in our tax money to combat climate change in developing world economies. Let me say this...with China holding $800 billion of our assets, do you think were going to dole out this, and try to limit economic growth by imposing 17% reductions in emissions? Waxman/ Markey is dead. Barbara Boxer and John Kerry are humorously attempting a similar yet less ambitious bill, thats wrapped up in the syntax of "security" and "business friendly", but no ones convinced.
It's time to get real people. We did not pass the Kyoto Protocol, because our Senate voted 98-0 against it. It was a flawed treaty and with this recent scandal and growing government dissent in our country, I'm pretty sure, we the people are going to flick this world convention the finger just like 1998. My predictions are that Obama does not have the political capitol to pass this, but watch how the IPCC (Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change) reacts. America, tougher times are ahead, and I believe you might see some of these green-Nazis from other nations try and take action against us if this isn't ratified. Angela Merkels appearance not long ago indicated that the nations of the world want us... but we want science... and truth.
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THE MAN WITH ANSWERS IN TIME OF GREAT MORAL CRISIS
